mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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