He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
