After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
