I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
