I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
