I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
