the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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