if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Come see our sink grown plant.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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