Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
