I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
