I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
