I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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