just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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