One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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