I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
