was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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