i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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