OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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