I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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