In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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