you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
