Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
