Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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