And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Randomize
