Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
