My cat gives me a boner
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
