If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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