at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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