She announced her abortion via fbk
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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