Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
