Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
