Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
