Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
