Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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