you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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