At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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