I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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