when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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