Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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