i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
