I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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