you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
