Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
