Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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