im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
