it was like his penis was on wheels.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
