I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
