so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
