ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
there's paper in my vomit.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
