he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
