Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
